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The Making of Me
The Making of Me
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The Making of Me
This film starring Martin Short did not premier when Wonders of Life opened on October 19, 1989. It made its debut on October 30 of that year and was featured toward the back of the pavilion, near the arrow in the picture below. The movie lasted about 15 minutes and was written and directed by Glen Gordon Caron, who also wrote and directed the television show "Moonlighting". The music in the film was composed by Bruce Broughton, who did music for many other Disney films and attractions, including Ellen's Energy Adventure. The show ran until the pavilion closed on January 1, 2007. Short later found a new home at Epcot when he hosted the updated version of "O Canada!" when it premiered in September of 2007. That film ran until 2019.
Since Martin was born in 1950, the girl at the end of the film who said she would be born "about 30 years from now" would have actually been nine years old when this movie premiered! While the film depicts the touching way that Martin's parents met, his real parents sadly had both passed by the time he was twenty years old.
The Making of Me Transcript
(The film starts out as a black screen. The voice of Martin Short can be heard.)
It happens to everyone. One day you're walking down the street and you think to yourself: “Where did I come from? How did I get here? What's it like being born?”
(A light illuminates his face.)
Me? I started here. Not now. Sixty years ago actually.
(The camera pans to show him in a hospital.)
Now, I know this sounds truly remarkable but (He points to a baby in the hospital nursery.) that's my dad! (He laughs.) Or will be. It’s pretty exciting, I know I am. Of course no one sees me. I'm a long way from happening. A long way. In fact, my mother hasn't even been born yet.
(His mom is shown pushing a Kewpie doll in a baby carriage in a house. She goes into her parents’ bedroom.)
Uh oh. That’s my mom. (She goes to the makeup table and uses a powder puff.) Or least she’s going to be. Of course, there’s a lot that has to happen before then. She’s got to go to school, got to meet me Dad, (His grandmother walks into the room and catches his mom using the perfume.) she’s got to be sent to her room. Wonder how Dad’s doing?
(Martin walks into a schoolroom where his Dad is not paying attention and seems awkward.)
(The students leave the room and go into the hallway. Martin looks at his Dad as he passes, then realizes the camera is watching him and gets startled. He clears his throat and goes by the chalk board. On the board there is writing that says: “For tomorrow. Chapter 11. Reproductive system.”)
What was I saying before? Oh, yeah about growing up. Very important for people who want to have babies because most of the baby-making equipment doesn't begin to work until you mature. I heard that! I mentioned baby-making equipment and a couple of you snickered. That's okay. I'm used to it. Mention anything having to do with making babies and someone’s going to snicker. Mention anything having to do with the parts of the body you use to make babies and someone is going to snicker. But what do you say, I'm getting ahead of myself. Before we can talk about baby-making or body parts or any of that, we have to talk about people.
(He snaps his fingers and figures of a man and woman appear on the chalkboard.)
You probably noticed by now that people come in two basic types. Male people and female people. And even though males and females are absolutely equal, they're different. Biologically different. Inside the woman's body are tiny egg cells. Inside the man's are sperm cells. (The chalk board shows the cells in each body.) Now when the sperm and the egg join together, a special cell is born. One special cell can make a baby. But I'm getting ahead of myself here. You can't very well get a sperm and an egg together to make a cell if the man carrying the sperm and the woman carrying the egg haven't even met yet. But of course, who knows maybe by now, Mom and Dad have actually run each other.
(People are shown walking into a building that has a banner on it saying “Class of ‘47 Fall Dance”. The dance floor later reveals that this is at “State College”.)
There's my mom but who’s that guy?
(His mom is shown kissing a man in a car as someone wolf whistles. Students are shown dancing and Martin watches as each of his parents are with different people. A slow dance starts. Martin watches as they continue to dance with others. Short's mother was played by Mary Beth McDonough, best know for her role as Erin in "The Waltons".)
Well this is depressing.
(His parents see each other as they dance and it’s love at first sight.)
Thank you God!
(Balloons drop on the dancers. The two couples are close enough to each other that his parents look at each other. The shot fades and shows them about to get married.)
You may kiss the bride.
(Martin snaps his fingers and everything freezes.)
Ok. Mom and Dad have met, Mom and Dad have married and now Mom and Dad want to have a baby!
(They turn and look at him.)
What is it? You don't?
(His parents snap their fingers and a motor boat is shown. Martin drives the boat as his parents water ski.)
You mean you'd rather do this than to have me!
(They nod and his mother kisses his father as they ski and then he falls down. Next they are shown dancing.)
You mean you'd rather do this than have me?
They'd rather do this than have me?
(His parents are shown on the couch looking at photo albums of themselves as kids. They begin to kiss.)
Wait a second. (His parents are shown in bed kissing). Wait a second. Wait a second. (The camera pans up to show Martin on the roof of the house.)
You're probably wondering what I'm doing up here instead of down there. Remember the sperm we said my Dad had and the egg we said my Mom had? Well getting the sperm and the egg together is one of the great miracles of life. It's also one of those things that people like to do in private. I mean, most people don't even like to talk about it. It makes them nervous. Some people laugh, others tell jokes. Lots of people just avoid the subject altogether. But the truth is, when two people are in love, one of the loveliest things they can do is be as close together as possible. They might kiss, they might hug. Another way that mature adults express their love for each other is to get so close that the man's sperm actually enters the woman's body.
How this happens is, (He stammers.) is truly one of the great, grand secrets we share as human beings. In fact, the first time it's explained to us, it always seems incredible or unbelievable. But believe it or not, all of us, anyone who’s ever been born, came into being because their parents made love, allowing the sperm and the egg to meet. Everyone, that is except me. I mean, I haven't been born yet. Have I? (Camera shakes no.) Or have I?
(The film becomes animated. The sound of a bowling ball knocking over pins is heard. A sign saying “Uterus City Limits” has a population counter that goes haywire as a horde of sperm enters.)
What’s going on?
Haven't you heard? It’s the big race. First one to find the egg gets to make a baby!
And the rest of us?
(The second sperm motions with his head that it’s curtains for the losers. The sperm are shown rushing toward the finish line, where a pony tail wearing egg cell is waiting. The sperm rush and split between the two fallopian tubes. Some sperm crash, others get tired. The egg cell looks at a watch and grows impatient. The sperm are exhausted and the egg ties a target sign on herself and blows a kiss. One sperm finally crosses the finish line, uses some breath spray and crashes into her. The scene shifts to a fetus. The fetal scenes were done by a Swedish micro photographer named Lennart Nilsson.)
All right, I know I'm not much in the looks department yet but hey, I'm only 30 days old and a fifth of an inch long. (The picture begins to bounce.) Hey! Hey! Hey! What’s going on? An earthquake? (His parents are shown getting a phone call from the doctor.) Oh I get it, they're just getting the good news about me. Easy Pop! That’s precious cargo you're wrestling with.
(The fetus is shown again.)
Check out the arms! Five weeks old, a half an inch long. We're making progress. (Smoke begins to envelope the fetus.) Wait a second! What’s that? Smoke? My mom wouldn't smoke while she was pregnant with me. Would she? (His parents are in a theater with people loudly laughing and smoking.) She’s got to know smoking, drinking, taking drugs, those are all bad for little sprites like me.
(They leave the show. The poster outside the theater features “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea”.)
Thanks Mom. Thanks Dad.
(More prenatal scenes are shown.)
It's been six months and that's a long time with nothing to do. But now, for the first time, I can hear your voice, Mom! (His mother laughs as his father feels her belly.) Sorry about the kick Mom. But I'm starting to go a little crazy in here.
(More time passes.) I've been in the womb for seven months and today, I opened my eyes.
(The fetus is shown nearly full term.)
I'm getting turned over today. Getting ready for something, something, something, something. (His voice fades out.)
(Scenes of the birth are shown but it is done in tasteful way, mainly focusing on the baby once it has been born. A little girl begins to speak and is shown standing in the hospital like Martin was at the beginning of the film.)
It happens to everyone. One day you're walking down the street and you think to yourself: "Where did I come from? How did I get here? What’s it like being born?" Me? I'm going to start here. Not now, about 30 years from now actually. That’s my father. Or will be.
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See ya real soon!